Today was one of those days that you just want to forget. Press the reset button and start over tomorrow. But to make sense of this I have to go back up a bit.
In the beginning I slept like a rock, I got up full of energy it was perfect. Or at leas for me it was, my husband didn’t have shuteye at all because I snored really badly. Woops. Then about two weeks ago the nightmares started. I’ve always had nightmares. But these were different. More intense, way more violent. I used to get chased and such but I would wake up before the bad guy got me. Now the bad guy would definitely get me, the amount of nightmares where I committed suicide or that one of my loved ones got killed are in the double digits already. Before now, I never had suicidal nightmares. Nor do I have that kind of feelings, just to make that clear, that’s what is so puzzling to me.
Apparently Hydroxyzine which is an anti-histamine and the one I take can cause nightmares. I stopped taking it for a bit but there were no changes, so I guess that wasn’t the culprit. Then a bit over a week ago I had a nightmare where I actually died. I was shot in the back of the head. I saw my own murder. A bit before that happened I realized I was in a nightmare and I tried waking up and I couldn’t. Even after I was dead I couldn’t wake up. And then suddenly I made it out. My chest was hurting extremely my heartbeat was very irregular and I was scared to death.
So I went googling. And there I found that my sleep medication can have a nasty but rare side effect. So I stopped taking it.
Using methadone together with amitriptyline can increase the risk of an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious and potentially life-threatening, although it is a relatively rare side effect.– http://www.drugs.com
The first days all was was fine. In that way that I still woke up rested in the morning and full of energy. But then three days ago the problems started. First I blamed it on my husband because I only slept three hours that night. I said that it was because of his snoring. Which was true, but before then he snored too, pretty certain he has sleep apneu, and I slept right through it. I didn’t get up that morning to help with the routine and I slept until ten. Then yesterday, again I barely slept, I got up to help with the morning routine and then my husband found me sleeping in front of my computer around eight o’clock so he sent me back to bed and I got back up at eleven in the morning. But like that half your day is already gone. I made the decision to give the ADT, which contains the Amitriptyline, another shot. But then at the last moment I chickened out.
I had tried earlier in the day to get into contact with the doctor, so I could try and figure out if I could get something else, but apparently I need to wait until my husband goes to the facility to pick up my medication for the next fourteen days. And he only has to go next week. And then I would still not have a prescription.
This morning I got up and I had no energy. I put up the breakfast, clothed my son, and put away the laundry I ironed last night.
After that my reserve was already depleted. And because my son was home today because of some holiday in Portugal, I wasn’t able to do more chores to keep awake.
In the past weeks I’ve had a lot of luck staying awake by coloring. And I actually have started really enjoying it. It made that I can watch TV again, somehow I manage to watch TV and color at the same time. But then again I am a woman 😉
Today I fell asleep while coloring. Luckily I didn’t do too much damage and I could fix it. A bit later my husband was telling me a story and I simply fell asleep while he was talking to me. I could hear him say “Ok then” which made me snap out of it. That was so strange. I tried to back to bed midway the afternoon but I ended up having nightmares again and I felt even worse than before. All because I stopped taking that one little pill a night.
So tonight I am going to start taking it again, but I’ll only take it every other night until I hear back from the doctor. The doctor was aware that I stopped taking it, but he didn’t suggest anything in it’s place and because back then I didn’t have issues yet, I didn’t ask.
This was a turning point for me. This is worse than being sick and now comes the kicker, writing this has woken me up a bit…
And it’s half past nine in the evening. I was planning to go sleep in a bit. Ooh life and it’s quirks.
Do you suffer from nightmares? How do you deal with it? Let me know below.